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Like any commercial date on the calendar, 'Mother's Day' arrives loaded for many. Grief, wishing, hope, happiness, broken hearts and dreams, expectation, joy, disappointment and loss - a melting pot of messy emotion and experience.
Kate Thomson was blessed to enjoy a close relationship with her fun-loving mum, Lorrie, while she was earth-side and ahead of a day that is marked with complex emotion for so many, talks to us about her experience of mothering without her own…
Mothering without my own mother here with me brings with it so many emotions of loss for both myself and my children, knowing that they are missing out on their brilliant Grandmother, and the presence I had expected her to be in their lives. I feel sad that they won’t feel the direct impact of her powerful influence in their lives, and guilty that I’m not doing more to compensate for her absence.
On Mother's Day itself, I have chosen to tackle the day a little selfishly I suppose and allow myself to be celebrated. My partner and the kids always take me out to a beautiful lunch, and I try to be present with my little family. I know if Mum was here, she would be there too, enjoying clinking a champagne with me, and us.
My Mum was such an incredible woman. She was strong, intelligent, ambitious, deeply empathetic and the life of the party. She would collect daughters in all parts of her life. Women who were missing a motherly figure in their lives seemed to be drawn to Lorrie and she would become that person for them. She had a deep compassion and understanding for people and never turned anybody away.
I believe that Mum is with me as I parent my own children and try to impart the values and life lessons that she instilled in me. The most important of them is her humanity. I remember how she engaged in profound conversations with our taxi drivers who were immigrants, genuinely curious about their experiences and perspectives on the world. My Mum never discriminated and I hope to be leading with example so that my kids know that everybody deserves your time and respect.
I am so lucky to have the most beautiful group of girlfriends in my life, who always reach out throughout the year to check in on me. This extends to my Mum's friends as well. Women are something special, and I feel so lucky to be one.
Daisy is 9 and will run the world. She is smart and creative, curious and strong-willed. The traits that I find the most challenging in her now, are the ones I know I will admire in her as she grows in the world. Rocket is 7 - he's a sensitive soul with an innate self-confidence. He's funny and loving and dances to his own beautiful beat.
Being Daisy and Rocket's mum is such a joy and an enormous privilege. When I'm given the space I crave, my heart aches to be with them. I hope I am nurturing them and filling them with confidence and self worth as they take on the world - knowing they are enough just as they are.
I think that it's only now, almost 8 years after the fact, that I am truly grieving her loss. Having young kids was a beautiful distraction from losing my Mum. I definitely felt the impact of not having her there while I had my hands full with little kids but at the same time it was a period in my life where I felt so loved and so fulfilled making it feel somewhat easier to navigate.
I can't answer for those women yearning to be a mother. I think it would be the most difficult journey, and my heart aches for them. I think as a society, we have probably got it a little wrong. But I think if we create our own villages within that, as safe spaces where we can be open and honest in terms of the support we need, then we can make change. I think small gestures of love go a long way - a phone call, a text, or a handwritten card. If you're thinking about somebody, tell them.
A transformative journey of unfathomable love, sacrifice and pure joy where beauty and overwhelm coexist.
Just enjoy the quality time you have with them. If I could change anything, I would have gone on an overseas adventure with my Mum as an adult, just her and I wandering around Southeast Asia.
Grief is a funny thing; we won't always feel it on the calendar dates we are meant to. I love it when people share their own special memories of my Mum with me. Or bring her up in conversation. I never want to stop talking about my Mum, and remembering the wonderful woman she was.
When my daughter Daisy was born, I have never seen my Mum happier. She was a doting Grandma and cherished every moment with her. She would have her sleep on her chest, or in her arms for hours and hours! I am so grateful for those 2 and a half years that my Mum got to be a grandma, and that Daisy got to feel the overwhelming love of her grandma. This will stay with me, and with Daisy, forever.
May we cherish what we have, and who we have, always. And, tell them we love them, while we can xx
As a prologue to Talks, we chat with Short Talk founder, Jessica Head, for some context on her brand and word gifting business.
Sally Smith, Mornington Peninsula local, founder of children’s social enterprise Ocean Thinkers and mum-of-three, talks to us about what being a mother means to her.
Shelley Horan, a vibrant Melbourne photographer and visual artist, talks about navigating small business and how connection through community is integral for her.
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